When I was 16 I became addicted to codeine. This addiction presented itself in me until I was 22. I worshipped it, and even writing about it now makes me yearn for the taste of that tablet and the wave of relaxation that would make its way down my body 15 minutes later. The ability to forget all my worries and just melt into a drug-induced emotional coma is what I am addicted to, even though I have not taken codeine in 2 years.
My addiction to opiates actually originated when I was having my knee replaced during my period of critical treatment in 2005 (age 9). I became addicted to pressing a button attached to a morphine pump. I still remember the feel of the button and the euphoric pain-free sensation that filled my body shortly after.
My mum alerted the nurses to my addiction when I asked her to keep pressing the button when I was asleep. I lived in fear of waking up in agony, and this escalated to my ‘need’ for the button to be pressed continually. There was a timer between doses to ensure there would be no overdosing. I pressed the button continually so that I did not have to wait one fraction of a second later that I necessary for another dose.